Every day, I encounter women who long for change. And of course—they’re not alone. We all reach moments when we ache for something different. But here’s the truth: if we want change, we must be the change. Life doesn’t happen to us—it happens through us.
In my last blog, I wrote about wanting a child. It’s a helpful picture to understand how life moves through us. If we want a child, we must first sow the seed. A baby isn’t handed to us; it grows within us, shaped by time, nourishment, and care. And just like any seed, it carries a unique DNA—its future is already embedded in the intention.
It’s the same with every desire.
I think of myself years ago when I left the spiritual cult I had grown up in. I had been married young by the community’s authorities. My entire world—my friends, family, and beliefs—was wrapped up in that structure. I had no formal education, little financial independence, and a young son who needed me. I was told I knew nothing. I believed it. And I thought change was impossible.
Neville Goddard once said he cut the word “impossible” out of his dictionary. I hadn’t found Neville yet back then—but I had found something just as important: desire. I didn’t know how I would survive on the outside, but I knew I couldn’t stay.
Walking away from everything I’d ever known felt like throwing myself into a river with no shore in sight. The current was strong. I was terrified. And yet—somewhere inside, a voice kept whispering, “Keep going. There’s more.”
Without any real roadmap, I often wandered into situations where others took advantage of my vulnerability. I confused kindness with approval. I clung to others’ needs before my own. I mistook survival for love. My inner compass had been hidden under years of guilt, obedience, and shame.
But it was still there.
The years since then have taught me more than I can capture in one blog. But the most important truth I’ve discovered is this: you can change your life. No matter where you start from. No matter how stuck it seems. You just need to take responsibility for how you perceive your life—and that’s where your power lives.
People sometimes say to me, “Your situation is different than mine.” Maybe. But as someone once said: “Each person’s hell is the worst hell.” That may be true—but it also means that each person’s hope can be the most powerful hope.
You have to ask yourself:
- Do I see life as something that won’t change—or as something that’s already beginning to shift?
- Am I investing energy in all that’s going wrong—or imagining what might finally go right?
- Am I willing to step into the unknown?
For so long, I wasn’t.
And people often think I’ve always been strong or peaceful. The truth? I’ve been a fighter from the very beginning. I believe that spirit has always been with me—even from before birth. My mother once told me she almost had an abortion, but something stopped her. She said she felt my will to live. And that same spirit carried me through the darkest tunnels of my life.
Yes, I’ve been scared. Yes, I’ve been a victim. But I’ve also woken up. And I’ve learned that the mind loves the comfort of familiar suffering more than the risk of freedom.
What helped me most was beginning to question my thoughts. Byron Katie’s four questions became a lighthouse in my storm:
- Is it true?
- Can I absolutely know it’s true?
- How do I react when I believe that thought?
- Who would I be without it?
Those questions taught me to slow down the wild horses in my mind.
So if you’re reading this and you’re stuck, afraid, or exhausted by your own looping thoughts—I’m here to tell you: you are the one who sows the seed. And the life that grows from it is already waiting inside you. But only you can water it.
Don’t wait for life to hand you the change. Be the change.