Have you ever felt the world is unfair?
That people treat you badly, bills pile up, friends pull away, and even the partner you hoped would bring comfort now keeps their distance?
It’s as if everything starts going south at once. And in that heaviness, the “solution” seems to be talking about it — again and again. Calling a friend. Repeating the same story. Hoping someone will listen long enough for you to feel relief.
I’ve been there.
Years ago, I burned out friends by talking about the same problems until they quietly pulled away. I didn’t even notice I was drowning in my own stories.
Today, I have a friend who does exactly the same. She is a sweet person, and I care for her — but when I gently point out that she might be the root cause of the patterns she keeps experiencing, she brushes it off. Always the same stories, the same villains, the same suffering.
Here’s the truth:
If you want change, you have to be honest with yourself. Otherwise, you’re not looking for a solution — you’re looking for an audience. And that’s not friendship. That’s draining others while keeping yourself stuck.
The First Step: Stop Saying “I Know”
When I share possible solutions — not just theory, but hard-earned wisdom from my own life — she often says: “I know, I know.”
But here’s the thing: if what you “know” isn’t giving you the life you want, maybe you don’t really know it.
The moment you say “I know” but nothing changes, you’ve shut the door to new insight.
Real change begins when you say: “I’m ready to see. I’m ready to listen.”
The Tools: 4 Questions + New Assumptions
Two powerful ways to uncover the truth:
1. Byron Katie’s Four Questions:
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Is it true?
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Can I absolutely know it’s true?
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How do I react when I believe that thought?
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Who would I be without it?
These questions take you out of autopilot and into awareness — where change is actually possible.
2. Neville Goddard’s Law of Assumption:
We don’t manifest what we want — we manifest what we assume to be true.
What are you assuming about your worth? Your future? Your ability to change?
Be the Doctor of Your Own Life
When you’re in pain, you go to the doctor. They don’t just cover the symptom — they look for the cause.
You can do the same with your thoughts and patterns.
Observe: Do certain situations keep repeating in your life?
Instead of telling yourself, “That’s just how it is,” get curious:
What assumption is holding this in place? What would happen if I assumed something better?
Your Responsibility to Yourself
This is not about blaming yourself — it’s about freeing yourself.
When you take full responsibility for what you believe, you stop waiting for others to change,
and start changing the one thing you actually can: you.
From there, life begins to mirror back something entirely different.