“I tell my story not because it is unique, but because it is the story of many girls.” – Malala Yousafzai
My message revolves around awakening. I speak from personal experience, with a particular focus on women. Far too often, we have prioritized the well-being of others at the expense of our own, resulting in a sense of helplessness. How many times have we known what we wanted to do, yet refrained from pursuing it due to the fear of rejection, self-doubt, or uncertainty about what is truly best for us? Why do we allow others to instill doubts about our potential for success? Numerous coaches and authors have explored these issues extensively; therefore, I will not delve deeper into them here. I can only speak for myself and share my own journey.
If we desire change, we must become the catalysts for that change. Taking ownership of our thoughts and actions is crucial in effecting transformation. This change can only occur within ourselves when we recognize that true growth commences by freeing ourselves from dependence on external circumstances or individuals. We hold the power to determine the trajectory of our personal narratives, as we are constantly scripting our stories, whether consciously or not. The more we grasp the notion that we are not merely actors bound to recite lines penned by others, but rather creative writers, the easier it becomes to take charge of our own destinies. Fear is the only hindrance that undermines our confidence in ourselves.
“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” – Marie Curie
Gaining an understanding of self-confidence can be a lengthy journey, particularly if it was not instilled in us during childhood. For years, I held a diminished view of myself, believing I was unworthy and lacking the intelligence to pursue my dreams. I allowed people and circumstances to treat me in toxic and unfavorable ways. While I extended patience and understanding to others, I denied myself the same kindness. The more we elevate others onto pedestals, the more we allow them to diminish our worth. However, the moment we shift our self-perception and utilize our inner strength to support ourselves, people will begin to treat us differently. When we realize our inherent worth and embrace our uniqueness, we will only accept respectful treatment from others. That is self-love. Once we embark on the journey of self-value, we will notice people being drawn to us, seeking genuine connection. This differs from narcissistic self-love, which seeks attention and affection by force, in an attempt to fill an inner void. I am referring to a healthy self-respect—a state where we find inner peace and do not rely on external validation to feel confident. Understanding the patterns we encounter in our daily lives alleviates our fears and allows us to recognize our true worth.
As we begin to comprehend our worth, we come to understand that we were not at fault for becoming ensnared in our traumatic fears and beliefs. These circumstances were merely imprinted upon us during childhood by our parents and caregivers, who themselves may not have known better. However, now that we have reached adulthood, it is our responsibility to make those changes if we seek the peace and happiness we yearn for. Equipped with the right tools and understanding, the choice ultimately lies with us. When we genuinely desire change, that is the moment we cease to be victims of circumstance.